[Why]ORRIES..

Life is exactly what you make out of.

Do not dislike things too much, or even love it too much. Protect your heart from such strong feelings..

Learning and self-taught is the best thing that ever happened to humans. And there’s a beauty in that. Such as, being able to accept things as it is or having to change it for the better.

Be your own THINKER. I feel like we live in a society where having to think outside the box means one must agree with the next person. If by struggling with self-confidence. Find a way to change that; practice makes it perfect. Be true to yourself though.

Let things be for the way it is. Spend your time with people who are worthy of appreciating you. Again as humans we make mistakes. Such as, trusting too much, getting betrayed, and being belittled. Never do too much or too less. Stay balanced.

Remember “after a storm there is a rainbow.”

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BROKEN..

To Him we belong and to Him we shall all return to.

My father returned to his Creator; a night that I will never forget. May Allah have mercy on him.  He returned to his Lord Just like the people before him.

When we return to our Creator. May He have mercy on our souls.

 People been asking me “how I’m holding up, or just checking on me too see if I’m okay.” I’m not going to lie I feel broken physically and emotionally.

I wish that I took my time with him. Even though I was there holding him as he took his last breath. I wish I didn’t rush out of the door when late from work & school. I wish to hear his voice one more time asking about my day. One can only wish right?

The lessons that this great man taught me will forever be with me.

He was in bed rest for months and not a day did he complain about being in pain. In the morning he’d ask me if I ate and he would not eat his breakfast before my mother.

“Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” (Quran: 13:28)

If my father is not talking, sleeping, or eating. He did his dhikr (remembrance of Allah). Not a day did I see him not praising Allah. All praise is due to Allah.

May Allah soften our hearts. May Allah shower us with mercy.

Allahuma Aameen.

Avoidance Coping..

I hope it’s not happening all over again.

I walked into his room today, but today I couldn’t stand myself. We used to laugh, hug, massage his hands and brush his hair with my fingers. And he’d ask about my day and I’d tell him in detail; from Fajr (dawn) prayer to sunset.

Today I asked him how he’s doing and his response was something like “you know, things changed. I’m not doing so good. God knows best.”

He enjoy telling us stories. And giving us orders. Even though he can’t move around much, he’d tell us to do things. Read a book, or get twenty-one questioned by him for not doing what you’re supposed to.

Today, he let me talk about my life, as if I’m introducing myself to him. He was smiling, but I can see in his eyes that he cannot remember me. So he asked about his daughters and the smart man he is, he asked me to name them one by one so he can find out which one of his daughters I am.

Allah is the best of planner.

I know I’m not who I was a year ago. I used to complain and I couldn’t stand myself for everything that was happening. I realized that this time it is a gift. Allah blessed me with the ability to cope.

I know I will break here and there, but it is not how it used to me. He trust me more than ever. He may not remember me, but he knows my smile, tight hugs, and my long boring stories.

Be grateful for the people in your life.

Be grateful and God will increase it for you.

When We Fall..

He grew up in a small town on the countryside.

Where there is no access to education. He wanted to make something out of his life so he could provide for his mother and younger siblings.

At the age of eight, he left behind his mother and took the bus to the city where he started working as a fisherman. People say that he is too mature for his age, but his end goal in life is to be better than the person he was yesterday. Since you can’t do much about the past.

If one takes care of their parents and provide for their family, that is a blessing itself.

In his late thirties , he got married, graduated from university. And God blessed him with a big family. He is more like a alpha male. He is a respected man. He got used taking care of others to the point that he knows nothing of whats good for him.

After three decades, he is a grandfather now. He has nothing to regret of. Which is kinda scary. He never talks about his mistakes.

He is turning sixty-nine soon. For sixty years of his life, people loved him because he helped them, and he could walk on his own.

And now with age, and illness, he can’t think straight. He gets tired and irritated every other hour of the day.

Do people really got us when we fall ill and old? And when we cannot wake up on our own? Will they call us when they don’t hear from us?

Mankind wants you around only when you’re benefiting from.