E[miRRORS] In Her Thoughts

Short story about a beautiful stranger:

She is not who she used to be. Is it because she is tired of letting in. Change is good they say, but that is not the case for her. She is the opposite of what change is supposed to be. Change should make one happy not angry and emotional roller coaster. She is not known for who she is, but she is known for who people want her to be. And people still question about why she wants to change. She is lost in her own shadow.

Drowning in her own thoughts.

She is fighting off the idea of her failing. She seems happy every waken day. Deep down she is suffering.

She is suffering from wanting to not want. She is suffering from proving herself to those that could careless about her.

She gets lost in her thoughts talking her way out of the things that she actually deserve. When an opportunity knocks on the door she will do whatever it takes to not bring it into her life.

Smiles were made to share, but she only smiles to get by…

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Plastic Hearts Don’t Bleed..

cropped-cropped-image.pngThey are people that walked into her life. And they left her broken. Making her believe that her life will never get better without them in it.

Little did she know that all she needed was herself to do better in life. And little do they know that when she forgives, she never forgets.

She is starting to believe that she’s okay when all she is now is broken. 

There is no such thing as perfection.

She hurts herself as she collects the pieces of her heart.

She seems like she’s full of life.

She said: “People will see exactly what you want them to see in you, but in the end the only person worth knowing you is yourself.”

 

Feels..

Self-criticism is one of her best characteristics.

At times she shows her weakness, though she try hard to be bubble and full of life. She is struggling. Those that are close to her know that she changed. They can see it in her eyes that she hit so low that she believes there is no way for her to come up again.

We all have our own way of dealing with struggles. Especially when the storm of hardship hit us, we want those close to us to be our backbone. By at least reminding us that we are not alone in such position.

If need to cry out loud, do it! 

However, there is nothing GREATER than the help of God. By praying to him, even when you feel like you are broken. Never underestimate the power of prayer.

In addition, this is something for each and one of us to think about. Do we praise God when life is looking up for us? We are not aware that we are being tested with life,  when there is no hardship. We are being tested with the less fortunate. How we treat them. And if we help them.

To end with, remember we want to surround ourself with people, but we do not need them for us to find ourself. I’m not saying it is humanly possible to never surround ourselves with others, but can we let our characters be defined by the people we surround ourselves with? No. It need to be balanced or we will break.

This life is about making the best out of it.

Ideal P[ART]ner..

We are so focused on who we want to be with than who we want to become as a person.

We are so lost with the idea of being loved and falling in love. Being married and having to be with someone who makes us happy.

To start with, do we ever stop for a minute and wonder if we are who we want to be with? That perfect someone.

When we are asked about our ideal partner, we become the shallowest of them all.

Why seek perfection when you’re made to be imperfect?

We are so lost with the numbers from 0-10.

Remember when looking for an ideal partner, it’s not about making the perfect type of ART. It’s beyond that.

Learn to live your life alone without rushing to creating one with another being.

Lesson From Surah Al-Hadid

Asalaamu Alaiakum All!

My life choices was based on how people see and think of me. There was a point that I couldn’t recognize my own shadow. I’ve always been an outspoken person. I am a listening ear to a person in need and not only listening, but to be the answer to their prayers. Whether it is emotionally, financially or physically. I try to fix them as much as I can.

Though helping people taught me to be very conscious about who I am. It taught me to only rely my dependencies on my Creator.

Allah Azawajal.

Which is why I believe the Quran is my cure and it teaches me how to deal with my problems.

In life, people will say they are there if you need them, but they do not know what is in your heart.

They can’t protect your heart from harm; but your Creator.

After reading this Surah, specifically, the verse below it changed my perspective on life.It taught me not to hold on to people/things that will in the end leave or vanish.

ٱعۡلَمُوٓاْ أَنَّمَا ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَا لَعِبٌ۬ وَلَهۡوٌ۬ وَزِينَةٌ۬ وَتَفَاخُرُۢ بَيۡنَكُمۡ وَتَكَاثُرٌ۬ فِى ٱلۡأَمۡوَٲلِ وَٱلۡأَوۡلَـٰدِ‌ۖ كَمَثَلِ غَيۡثٍ أَعۡجَبَ ٱلۡكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُ ۥ ثُمَّ يَہِيجُ فَتَرَٮٰهُ مُصۡفَرًّ۬ا ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَـٰمً۬ا‌ۖ وَفِى ٱلۡأَخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ۬ شَدِيدٌ۬ وَمَغۡفِرَةٌ۬ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرِضۡوَٲنٌ۬‌ۚ وَمَا ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَآ إِلَّا مَتَـٰعُ ٱلۡغُرُورِ (٢٠)

 (Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children. (It is) like a rain (Ghayth), thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment, and (there is) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure. And the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment.)

Surah Al-Hadid [Ayah 20]

This very verse is about how Allah is describing this world. How we should not hold on to this world, since it is nothing, but an amusement. I did not know how to let go of things; especially people.

I expected perfection, trying to become someone who I will never be. Growing up I was told what to do, who to be and how to live, but no one was there when I needed them the most.

Again, I was told how to live, but the Quran showed me who to be.

Remember even at your lowest, do not despair, God is the most forgiving.

The Best Thing..

When everything is broken and you want it all to be a dream. Ask yourself, are you truly living by protecting yourself when the storm hits? Or are you going to question about the storm? Are you also going to reflect on the storm and be grateful for it.

The best way to deal with the storm is to be grateful. Do not question if it’s going to get any worse. Do not run to the creation, but run to The Creator of the creation. Yes things are getting hard now, but think about the other things that’s going on in your life.

A man with one eye can see the world better than a man with both.

It could be the best thing that ever happened to you. When hardship hits, because it’s getting you ready to the next chapter of your life.

It’s like Erik Erikson’s development stages. So his theory is like you must go through certain stage of development to get you ready to the next stage. I’m pointing this out because of my blog’s name. The purpose of it is to feel our pain and pleasure. And at the same time appreciate these emotions.

I know a lot of us ask about how bad things happen to good people. We only say that because of how we see it. Because we love so and so and all of the sudden they are one of the good people. We need to start believing and living by how life has purpose than just having it our way. God give us a test, but also God give us the gift to cope with our struggles. And Then God congratulate us for having patience by blessing us with the things that we never asked for.

To close with, we ask about life suffering, but we never tend to see the good that comes out of the suffering.

The good in the bad.