E[miRRORS] In Her Thoughts

Short story about a beautiful stranger:

She is not who she used to be. Is it because she is tired of letting in. Change is good they say, but that is not the case for her. She is the opposite of what change is supposed to be. Change should make one happy not angry and emotional roller coaster. She is not known for who she is, but she is known for who people want her to be. And people still question about why she wants to change. She is lost in her own shadow.

Drowning in her own thoughts.

She is fighting off the idea of her failing. She seems happy every waken day. Deep down she is suffering.

She is suffering from wanting to not want. She is suffering from proving herself to those that could careless about her.

She gets lost in her thoughts talking her way out of the things that she actually deserve. When an opportunity knocks on the door she will do whatever it takes to not bring it into her life.

Smiles were made to share, but she only smiles to get by…

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Plastic Hearts Don’t Bleed..

cropped-cropped-image.pngThey are people that walked into her life. And they left her broken. Making her believe that her life will never get better without them in it.

Little did she know that all she needed was herself to do better in life. And little do they know that when she forgives, she never forgets.

She is starting to believe that she’s okay when all she is now is broken. 

There is no such thing as perfection.

She hurts herself as she collects the pieces of her heart.

She seems like she’s full of life.

She said: “People will see exactly what you want them to see in you, but in the end the only person worth knowing you is yourself.”

 

Lesson From Surah Al-Hadid

Asalaamu Alaiakum All!

My life choices was based on how people see and think of me. There was a point that I couldn’t recognize my own shadow. I’ve always been an outspoken person. I am a listening ear to a person in need and not only listening, but to be the answer to their prayers. Whether it is emotionally, financially or physically. I try to fix them as much as I can.

Though helping people taught me to be very conscious about who I am. It taught me to only rely my dependencies on my Creator.

Allah Azawajal.

Which is why I believe the Quran is my cure and it teaches me how to deal with my problems.

In life, people will say they are there if you need them, but they do not know what is in your heart.

They can’t protect your heart from harm; but your Creator.

After reading this Surah, specifically, the verse below it changed my perspective on life.It taught me not to hold on to people/things that will in the end leave or vanish.

ٱعۡلَمُوٓاْ أَنَّمَا ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَا لَعِبٌ۬ وَلَهۡوٌ۬ وَزِينَةٌ۬ وَتَفَاخُرُۢ بَيۡنَكُمۡ وَتَكَاثُرٌ۬ فِى ٱلۡأَمۡوَٲلِ وَٱلۡأَوۡلَـٰدِ‌ۖ كَمَثَلِ غَيۡثٍ أَعۡجَبَ ٱلۡكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُ ۥ ثُمَّ يَہِيجُ فَتَرَٮٰهُ مُصۡفَرًّ۬ا ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَـٰمً۬ا‌ۖ وَفِى ٱلۡأَخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ۬ شَدِيدٌ۬ وَمَغۡفِرَةٌ۬ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرِضۡوَٲنٌ۬‌ۚ وَمَا ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَآ إِلَّا مَتَـٰعُ ٱلۡغُرُورِ (٢٠)

 (Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children. (It is) like a rain (Ghayth), thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment, and (there is) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure. And the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment.)

Surah Al-Hadid [Ayah 20]

This very verse is about how Allah is describing this world. How we should not hold on to this world, since it is nothing, but an amusement. I did not know how to let go of things; especially people.

I expected perfection, trying to become someone who I will never be. Growing up I was told what to do, who to be and how to live, but no one was there when I needed them the most.

Again, I was told how to live, but the Quran showed me who to be.

Remember even at your lowest, do not despair, God is the most forgiving.